Takin' Pictures at the Hp Pavillion

So this past Monday, Shannon and I decided to check out a San Jose Sharks team since they are one of the best sports teams in the bay area...(how sad is that shit?...we have to resort to a fuckin hockey team being our best sports team) anyways...it was my second hockey game and Shannon's first...the Sharks were playing the Phoenix Coyotes (one of the worst teams in the NHL...i think) and the Sharks (who happen to be a very good team) couldn't score one fuckin goal against them. We did get to see a shootout but the Sharks ended up losing the game...getting to the real story...after the game me and shannon were takin pics inside the arena and outside...when shannon was takin a picture of me...a white guy walks by us saying, "if I were you I would be takin a picture of her...then post it up on the internet and blow it up.".....LOL WTF? Creepy ass motha fucka...shit

Anyways that was our story about what happened at the Shark tank

Oh one more random ass thing...Shannon just said Ryan Chan looks like Jay-Z...go figure that one out...might just be the worst comparison ever

wait one more thing...conversation between me and someone who wants to stay anonymous

anonymous: how big are the burgers at In N' Out?

Me: iono prolly like 1/3 pound.

anonymous: so how many would you have to eat to equal a pound?

Me: are you serious??? LOL

funny shit

Fuck this ghetto ass neighborhood!

So after taking a 2 hour nap and eating lunch, I was just about ready to take my bike and go to my boring ass chem lab. I went outside, took one look at my bike and noticed something was wrong.

Me: ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?

Shannon: what's wrong?

Me: SOMEONE STOLE MY FUCKIN BIKE SEAT!

some goddamn asshole decided to ruin my fuckin day because he felt that he needed my bike seat more than I did...so being the clepto that I am...I decide to try to get a seat back after my class...So I'm on campus scoping some bikes out and I see one that just might fit my bike...I look around and snatch the seat and ride away on my scooter.

The whole time I'm riding back, I keep thinking to myself....Fuck I hope this shit fits. I get home and try to put the seat in and THE FUCKIN SHIT DON'T FIT...now I just feel really bad for the person that I stole that seat from...FML

Coldplay

The Coldplay Concert was pretty sick even though I only knew about 3 songs...whatever though.  When they came up to the lawn I decided to record them when they started singing Billie Jean...not as good as the King of Pop himself, but still pretty good nonetheless...Also, some guy in the background was singing along with them...(definitely not me though...lol)...well it could've been but I don't really remember to well...anyways...enjoy!

Bugs...Why the fuck do we have bugs???

Seriously though, why on earth do we need to have spiders???...I guess I could understand if we had one type of spider, but to have hundreds of different types of spiders, some of which have large fangs filled with venom and are as big as my fucking face...it's just ridiculous.  I wouldn't mind if they had a specific purpose on this planet...like if they were the answer to curing cancer, but no...the only reasonable purpose they have is to eat other stupid ass bugs that everyone hates...like the annoying, freaky looking mosquito.  Who in their right minds actually likes the fuckin mosquito???...No one...no one likes the mosquito...it just scares the shit out of everyone and spreads diseases.  We actually have to worry about mosquitos because they carry diseases that can kill you...absolutely useless.  I also have a problem with the house fly.  They eat shit and always happen to fly close enough to let you know its there but never close enough for you to kill it.  I know it happens to all of you too...you're just sitting in your room minding your own business and suddenly a loud ass buzz shoots past your ear making you jump and flail your arms like a crazy person.  Then you spend about 20 minutes trying to kill the little fucker but it won't stay still for more than a second.  How annoying is that?...im sure you can agree with me.

  I hate bugs.  The only bug that gets a pass is the bee.  Even though it has a mean sting, it is the only bug that produces something that we can benefit from.  If it didn't produce honey, it would have no use just like all the other bugs on this planet.

Anyways, as you can tell, bugs are not my favorite.  I mean look how nasty some of these bugs are

See what I mean???...No purpose on this planet...nope...they just scare the shit outa you....slndkvfblfnkbh fuckin nasty...lol this motha fucka knows what I'm talkin about 

Of all the names...they picked Cary

First of all...I'm not mad at my parents for naming me Cary, but rather curious about why they decided that Cary was the right choice.  Of all the other names in the world, they had to pick one that sounds like a girl's name.  Don't get it twisted though...Cary is definitely a mother fuckin' unisex name, but I do agree that it ain't the manliest of names.  I would just like to know why my parents decided on this name...especially since my mom's sister's name in Carrie.  I mean did it sound that good with my last name?  They couldn't just make it easier for me and name me Cory???  Not that I want my name to be Cory or anything, but it definitely would've made my life a lot easier.  Seriously, you should hear what people say when I have to give a name to reserve a dinner table or give my name for an order.  

It goes a little like this...

Me: Hi, can i get a table for 4...or Hi can I get an original white gummy?

them: sure can I get your name please?

Me: yes, Cary

them: what???

Me: Cary

them: Gary???

Me: Carrry...(over the loud crowd...or over the loud ass blenders)

them: yeah that's what I said...Gary

Me: No, C-A-R-Y

them: (confused face like Cary is only a girls name)...how do you spell it???

Me: forget it...just put shannon.

That's the typical conversation that I have to go through when I'm trying to give them my name..it's such a hassle.  Another incident happened yesterday at work too.  This drunk ass girl came up to me and said, "Hi I'm Whitney and I'll be the one who will be asking for the cake later on.  What's your name? (looks at my name tag with a confused look)."  She goes is it really Cary?...I thought they forgot the little thing for the G...lol

I was like nope it's Cary...fuckin bitch 

Can't believe I'm writing a blog

So the other day I was watching Pitchmen on the Discovery channel (discovery channel is the shit btw). If you guys don't know, Pitchmen is about these 2 guys, Anthony Sullivan and Billy Mays and they try to pitch new inventions that people have created to help them promote their products. Most of the time these people end up selling millions of units and become instant millionaires. One guy invented a lawn fertilizer that you spray out of a can. It helps the grass grow and colors it green at the same time. Pure Genius. All I ever say to myself while I'm watching this show is, "why the fuck didn't I come up with that?" Anyways, the reason I bring this up is because lately, I have been trying to think of something to invent. I mean why the fuck not???...it would be the best way to get rich quick. Just one good idea could mean millions of dollars...unfortunately, it seems like everything that comes to mind is already made or not very realistic.

Some of my ideas include:

time machine - come on, everyone has thought of inventing one of these some time or another...don't lie

flavored pen caps - who doesn't bite on their pen caps?

reusable napkins - very eco friendly...only problem with this is that some can argue that it has already been made...and those people call it a towel...whatever

smell-o-vision - how sick would that be?...watching food network and being able to smell the food

As you can see, some of these inventions would probably mean spending millions of dollars to make the product, and that is just something that I do not have. One of these days something will click and I will invent something and hopefully it makes me a rich ass mother fucker